Troll Scientists – Useless Science

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Artist: Troll Scientists
Album: Useless Science
Record Label: Space Boogie Productions
Artist MySpace Page:
Buy this Album from Saikosounds here!


The human species has a major defect. Okay, humans have many defects. One of which is this need to learn about everything and then classify it. We think that a classification will make it easier to understand different items and concepts with a relation to other items and concepts. Which sometimes makes sense and other times is extremely annoying and counterproductive.

Take music for example. What kind of music do you like? Can you classify it? Can you do this easily? I suck at it. I hate it. Especially being a DJ. Fucking tits, going to a record store and trying to find good music in the category I supposedly like is often times difficult and tends to lead to disastrous results. Mainly, I buy nothing and go away annoyed and frustrated.

What does any of this have to do with Troll Scientists? Nothing.
Well, everything.

What is the point of a review? To tell you how good it is, right? Well, Troll Scientists have released an amazingly wonderful album. Deep in psychedelic warmth and charm. It is an album I can put on and cozy up to under warm winter blankets while the outside it coated in a thick layer of snow. But it is also an album I can put on in the middle of the night while dancing hard under the stars during a warm summer moon and have my mind twisted apart by the arrangements and layered sections composed within this brilliant balancing act.

Albums like this are hard to come by and when they do, they often go unnoticed. It is sad.
See, albums like this are hard for people to classify. People hear that it is from Finland, so they assume it is just jokingly quirky and fast. But it really isn’t like that.
If I say that it is progressive, people will expect something far more lush of a certain sound.
If I say that it is Full-on, people will expect reversed snares and more of a rolling bassline.
If I say it is twisted forest music, people will assume Rip Van Hippy.

This isn’t like that.

Think back to the first time you heard Psychopod ‘Dreampod’ and conjure up that inner head. [note :: if you have not heard this, you have some serious catching up to do] Maybe think back to that sound of early TIP n Flying Rhino. Remember how things were all kind of progressive, with layers of sound, but fast and with a drive that was going to slowly melt your brain and make you disappear into another dimension. Imagine that. But imagine it without the tinny production, without the Man With No Name cheese and imagine that the people who wrote the music are probably just like you and remember what parts of different songs made them good and which parts were cheesy and don’t want to include them. This is Troll Scientists.

I, generally, have a distaste for a lot of the progressive music I hear because it is so boring and there is something about the way a lot of it is written which totally bothers me and makes me completely uninterested. Full-on music is quite often too fast and banging. I am old, lazy and out of shape. I would rather melt to the floor than run a marathon. I love melody and pretty sounds. But the songs with melodies and pretty sounds are often not energetic enough or able to rip my reality into several pieces. I want my world turned inside out, but I like rainbows and unicorns and a lot of the music made to turn your world inside out are filled with rain clouds and evilness. This is Troll Scientists.

I want Koxbox the way they were with Dragon Tales, not the bland and un-unique U-Turn. I want to experience an album that will slowly tear my world into chaos, but hold my hand gently. I want to be shown the unimaginable and run through the dark forest, but I want to do it while wearing a comfortable sweatshirt. Sometimes I like to hear a bad joke and laugh at the absurdity of it as well. This is Troll Scientists.

Troll Scientists new album Useless Science is this album of times past. Not “retro” or a “throwback” or any of that bullshit. This is unique and original. This is new, but it is new of a genre which has disappeared. While some artists were trying to become the best at the genres they write, they forgot about where the genre came from. They forgot that creepy and evil can sometimes be slower. They forgot that disturbed and psychedelic can still have a warm heart and bring about joy. They forgot that lush melodies and slinky beats could still be twisted. They forgot that their genre had other elements of spice and style. Troll Scientists are one of a small group of artists who have not forgotten.

If you remember once loving music that was less classifiable, you will love this.
If you are new and love progressive music and want to hear something a bit more fresh, you will love this.
If you love it twisted and hard and want to rock a dance floor, you will love this.
If you want to forget about reality and go some place new, you will love this.

If you are entirely wrapped up in something far too serious and forgot about how many layers of skin you really have, you won’t love this. But you should try it anyway.

Troll Scientists – Useless Science is anything but useless.

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